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Story of Dr. Ilora Rafique

11/8/2015

5 Comments

 
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​Once we learned that both our immigrant mothers valiantly fought breast cancer, a bond instantly formed between Ilora and I. With only love and respect for our mothers, we have gained strength from the stoic way they handled it.   Yet, unlike them, we have chosen not to fight it alone.    Her mom's twenty-three year battle with breast cancer left an indelible mark on Ilora ever since she was 12 years old growing up in Jamaica, Queens in the 1980's, a time when few Bengali families lived there.  It was the inspiration for Ilora to study medicine and the strength she relied on when she, herself, was diagnosed with Stage I breast cancer in 2014, at age 42.

But even with her personal experience as a co-surviving daughter and her professional experience as a doctor, the news still took Ilora by surprise.
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After Ilora overcame the shock, her personal and professional medical background guided her research into her options and decisive decision making.  Ilora, "the Doctor", opted for a double mastectomy  because of the MRI findings in her right breast and prior ductal issues in her left breast.  At the same time, she wanted reconstructive breast surgery done with her own natural tissue transplanted from her stomach, a procedure called "deep flap".   Expected to take 10 hours long, the surgery lasted 17 hours instead!  Before the surgeon could remove tissue from her stomach, he discovered damage caused by scar tissue from the C-section with the birth of her second child, needed to be repaired first.
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And Ilora , as a daughter, wife,  and mother of two adolescent boys, had the toughest time dealing with the men in her life, particularly her father.

Ilora, the Patient, realized for once she had to do what served her best and disconnected temporarily with some relationships that  were not positive.  For herself, she posed for a photography session of her body before she lost a part of it, but has yet to go back for the post-operation photo shoot!  But she made sure to surround herself with a team of "personal" cheerleaders  during her six week initial recovery. 
With one microscopic "mets" found in one of her lymph nodes that does not require chemo or radiation, treatment decisions still lie ahead.  But, Ilora, knows she will make the right decision for herself.  Contemplating a camping trip with her family, she is fulfilling her passions while maintaining her primary care community based practice.  For the foundation created in her mom's memory , Ilora raises money  for a cancer hospital in Bangladesh. ​​
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Ilora also serves as a board member of SAPNA (Bengali for "Dream"), a group that promotes health, social, and economic empowerment of the City's South Asian community.  With its Breast Health Initiative, funded by the Susan B. Komen Foundation, SAPNA trains women to be peer educators in the community to encourage South Asian women to get breast screening.  When the recruited women come for breast screenings by ScanVan, a mobile van, Ilora is there providing support.
           




Trained with the psychosocial model, Ilora actively embraces eastern forms of holistic healing in her practice and for herself, especially with the fatigue and pain she experienced after surgery.
Her holistic healing regimen also incorporates ongoing attention to her mental health.
And through this process of healing, Ilora has learned to find strength in "letting go"-something she was unable to do as her mother's caretaker and difficult to do later, as the rock in her own immediate family.
For Asian American women living with breast cancer, Ilora has this sound advice:
5 Comments
Nicole medina
11/11/2015 08:21:36 pm

Love and admire who yout are as a special person. There are a great amount of women who can't speak so freely about their feelings of breast cancer. Just to hear what you had to go through gives me great courage to face myself of what I had to go through as well. Besides being one of your patent I feel we are cancer sisters that walk the same journey. Thank for being there for me and guiding me . You are the best.

Reply
Cynthia Pacelli
11/11/2015 09:26:14 pm

Dr. Ilona Rafique.... What can I say. I am so lucky to have you as my primary care physician. I am so happy for you and the path to healing that you have chosen. This is why where you go, I go. Your strength, the aura you exude are what all people need in their lives. I am one of the lucky ones that benefits from having you take the time to share that with me, Love... Love.... And blessings ALWAYS😘💝💝💝😘💐

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Shirin Bhuiyan
11/11/2015 10:01:35 pm

Thank you Songita for sharing your story. You are an inspiration to all women.

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Donna D’Alessio
2/9/2018 05:42:16 am

Having been a patient for over 6 years, I can honestly say I have never been to such a patient, considerate and compassionate doctor. She has a way about her that makes you feel very comfortable which is very important as a patient, you never have to feel embarrassed to ask any type of question. She is always there when I need her. Let me tell you, I been to a lot of doctors in my lifetime, and I am very choosing but now that I found her I am sure my search is over. Thank you Dr. Rafinque for all you do for all your patients!!
I wish you the very best health, love and happiness you deserve for all that you went through.
You are an inspiration to all your patients!!

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Luke Mangal
2/5/2019 07:54:00 am

Dr. Ilora Rafique is fighter and warrior not only for herself, her patients, but also the community. She is always supportive of everyone's battles. Best Wishes.

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    Author

    Born in Rochester, NY, I am the third daughter of a Chinese immigrant family-a "scorpio" and a "rat" in the Chinese zodiac.  A passionate civil rights attorney for almost three decades and a "scatterbrain" adjunct professor at two universities, I am active connecting my community service, legal background, and education of our future leaders. I enjoy meeting people, biking, dragon boat racing, cross country skiing, and travel. I still collect clowns and teacups, but stopped collecting "mice" awhile ago! 

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    Plum Blossoms does not provide medical advice, nor does it endorse any treatment mentioned in the survivors' stories.  Any treatment described is because the survivors discussed it as part of their individual choices on their journeys.

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